7 tips for effective listening.

Productive listening does not occur naturally. It requires hard work and practice.

People often are more focused on what they're saying than on what they're hearing in return. Listening is difficult because people don't work as hard at it as they should. Listening seems to occur so naturally that putting a lot of effort into it doesn't seem necessary. However, hard work and effort is exactly what effective listening requires.

1. CONCENTRATE ON WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING. Most individuals speak at the rate of 175 to 200 words per minute. However, research suggests that we are very capable of listening and processing words at the rate of 600 to 1,000 words per minute. The brain does not use all of its capacity when listening; an auditor's mind may drift to thinking of further questions or explanations rather than listening to the message at hand.

2. SEND THE NONVERBAL MESSAGE THAT YOU ARE LISTENING. Most communication experts agree that nonverbal messages can be three times as powerful as verbal messages. Effective communication becomes difficult anytime you send a nonverbal message that you're not really listening.

3. AVOID EARLY EVALUATIONS. Because a listener can listen at a faster rate than most speakers talk, there is a tendency to evaluate too quickly. That tendency is perhaps the greatest barrier to effective listening. It is especially important to avoid early evaluations when listening to a person with whom you disagree. When listeners begin to disagree with a sender's message, they tend to misinterpret the remaining information and distort its intended meaning so that it is consistent with their own beliefs

4. AVOID GETTING DEFENSIVE. After listening to a position or suggestion with which you disagree, simply respond with something like, "I understand your point. We just disagree on this one." Effective listeners can listen calmly to another person even when that person is offering unjust criticism.

5. PRACTICE PARAPHRASING.Listen very carefully if you are going to accurately paraphrase what you heard. The paraphrasing response will clarify for the sender that his/her message was correctly received and encourage the sender to expand on what he/she is trying to communicate.

6. LISTEN (AND OBSERVE) FOR FEELINGS. The way a speaker is standing, the tone of voice and inflection he or she is using, and what the speaker is doing with his or her hands are all part of the message that is being sent. A person who raises his or her voice is probably either angry or frustrated. A person looking down while speaking is probably either embarrassed or shy. Interruptions may suggest fear or lack of confidence. Persons who make eye contact and lean forward are likely exhibiting confidence. Arguments may reflect worry. Inappropriate silence may be a sign of aggression and be intended as punishment

7. ASK QUESTIONS...to clarify points or to obtain additional information. Open-ended questions are the best.

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